Ambrose Gwinett Bierce Quotes
FINANCE, n. The art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager. The pronunciation of this word with the i long and the accent on the first syllable is one of America's most precious discoveries and possessions.
— Ambrose Gwinett Bierce 
LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
— Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
HUMORIST, n. A plague that would have softened down the hoar austerity of Pharaoh's heart and persuaded him to dismiss Israel with his best wishes, cat-quick.
— Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
RESPITE, n. A suspension of hostilities against a sentenced assassin, to enable the Executive to determine whether the murder may not have been done by the prosecuting attorney. Any break in the continuity of a disagreeable expectation.
— Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it.
— Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
MINOR, adj. Less objectionable.
— Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
GENEROUS, adj. Originally this word meant noble by birth and was rightly applied to a great multitude of persons. It now means noble by nature and is taking a bit of a rest.
— Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
CRITIC, n. A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries to please him.
— Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
DEJEUNER, n. The breakfast of an American who has been in Paris. Variously pronounced.
— Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
HURRICANE, n. An atmospheric demonstration once very common but now generally abandoned for the tornado and cyclone. The hurricane is still in popular use in the West Indies and is preferred by certain old-fashioned sea-captains.
— Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
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